Resting Not Quitting

The CSA deliveries are paused however, as we say on the Farm - "The Plants are the boss". So we are still tending to Farm needs, seeding, planting, weeding, trellising and harvesting during this moment of reduction. Plants are unaware of our human constructs of time, holidays, weekends, work hours, etc. There is much to balance in our relationships in this world.

I frequently struggle to find balance in a human made society that frankly is set up to knock us all off balance. I've been reflecting a lot about being a business owner - err a creative? An entrepreneur. A self starter, a go getter. I have humming bird energy no doubt. Moving fast, my body is fine tuned for that speed, and I can be feisty with other birds or bees - have you ever seen a Humming Bird in an argument? It's adorable and probably annoying to be the recipient of.

I think a lot about Decolonization, Capitalism and White Supremacy. These are the lenses through which we've studied and looked at our past - it's distorted everything. I can think of so many little proverbs, Everything in Moderation, Never too late to start, there are so many parables, Tortoise and the Hare. These are just the immediates that come to my mind. I've worked myself hard and for many years now for very little financial gain. A lot of business owners do this, I talk to them, they are my friends and peers, I hear the pain and conflict. Am I a cog in the capitalist machine? Is my sense of Urgency too great? Is my rational justification for this hard work my colonized self? 

Yes... and No. I have personality traits and learned behaviors that serve me well in capitalism and this current reality we find ourselves in. But they don't exist solely because of this truth. They'd exist in another economy and a different society. As well they should, we need all our own unique strengths and weaknesses that shape the perspectives that create and shape new and exciting innovations.

I think a lot about a world beyond capitalism - but most frequently I simply hear about a world that is opposite capitalism... I'd like to challenge us in continuing to be more creative than just 'this or that', either/or thinking. Much of our tools today are built off the brilliance of the past. Cobbled together - yes appropriated and stolen - also freely shared and appreciated - from Indigenous peoples all over.  Calendars, Math, Data collection, language, science, art, social studies - Mayan, Egyptian, Chinese, Native American, the Greeks. These maybe didn't look like pages of numbers or specific steps, bureaucratic paperwork and laws but stories, word problems, paintings, sculptures. People relied on other people and so there was some sense of social order and organization, leaders and supporters, expectations and consequences. There was hard work to be had, long days of physical labor - ancient tricks of balance and making space for all to belong. There are days of rest and spiritual and mental work often in the cooler or icky weather days.

Do I feel extra worn down because of Capitalism - you bet your ass! Would I work shorter days or any less hard in a different economy & society, probably not. However, I'd probably know that my needs would be met, that my community had me, that the social safety net was there. (And in the present moment, I appreciate all your kind words and your willingness to buy local & Indigenous is not unseen.) But the way Capitalism has us set up- it's destroyed safety nets, has us caught up in a cycle of earn money, spend money, repeat. So many Americans are one severe car crash, injury or other major life occurrence away from bankruptcy and homelessness. That is a crushing, stressful treadmill to be on. And the way this is maintained seems to be through fear of currupt morality, that we are greedy for taking care of ourselves first before taking care of others - but also -  you can't pour from an empty cup. 

So where is the balance? The balance between hard work you have no interest in and the ability to do what sparks joy in you? Our ancestors have always struggled with this - and what feels fair and right - and our descendants will struggle with it. That is the human condition to find the balance of how we value and appreciate what all beings bring to the table. For me there is the practice of reciprocity: Respect, gratitude and mutual benefit. Everything is mutual or we wouldn't engage in it. Nothing is inside or outside the box, expanding and exploring what kind of habits we've fallen into will help us learn how to move forward more creatively - but it's all work we have to do. 

There's work to do, within ourselves and with each other and peripherally. The plants are the boss - these weeks off have gifted me with head space time to examine when my tendencies have been refocused by Capitalsim or guided by Intuition - ancestral wisdom that sits in my gut. Traditional Ecological Knowledge is less about the action and often more about the presence of mind we bring with us, the world view that influences our actions. Do I come to the fields with scarcity (hoarding, greedy) on my mind or do I come to the fields ready to serve my community (bounty, balanced financials and work/life, willingness to try and to falter? Forgiveness and also Challenge.)

I can't serve if I cease to exist as a human and as a business, and I plan to be in service for a while yet.

Your Farmer,

Michelle